Well I think it is safe to say that the prayers for Viv's heart rate to lower and stay steady and her blood pressure to remain steady. Our nurse just walked in and said, "She's Fantastic!!" It is crazy, I have felt so peaceful all day--what a grace God has given me. It's exciting that each moment that goes by that she is doing well is one more moment we are closer to going home with her!
Our next step in recovery is Vivi to start peeing. We need her to get rid of the rest of the fluid so her chest can be closed, hopefully Saturday. I know it is a weird prayer request, but please ask Jesus that she pees us a river tomorrow :)
Today as Rod and I have been supporting Viv together, I realized I have fallen in love with him in a whole new way. I always have known that the love that I have for him would change, but I never knew it would be more. Although its a bummer we are in the hospital spending all this time together, it has been so awesome to see him as such a wonderful daddy, a supportive spouse and just so fun to be with. I am so blessed to have such a great guy to go through this with.
Tomorrow is going to be another day full of Victories and Challenges, and we are ready to celebrate every moment together.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Update Post-Op Day 1
When Rod is getting texts demanding updates, I know its time to take a minute and share :)
Vivi is doing great--better than this morning. Her heart rate is gradually slowing down, and becoming more steady. We are still praying that her heart rate remains lower and steady and that her blood pressure remains steady so we can begin taking out some lines.
The line that was going through her belly button is out, but that was something that was a bit over-due :) She has a cute little outtie, that might turn innie with time....we'll see!
Rod and I were standing over her talking to her and she opened her eyes wide at us. I know she knows we are here. The doctor has been insisting I go home tonight (i slept great last night, and just woke up from a 3 hour nap) so I get some "good sleep" and that I take a spa day tomorrow. I looked at him and said "No way. I'm not leaving her!" His response everytime is 'don't you trust me? don't you trust me?' Obviously I completely trust the doctors, I just promised her I would be here and I know she knows we're here, so I this momma ain't leavin' :)
Vivi is doing great--better than this morning. Her heart rate is gradually slowing down, and becoming more steady. We are still praying that her heart rate remains lower and steady and that her blood pressure remains steady so we can begin taking out some lines.
The line that was going through her belly button is out, but that was something that was a bit over-due :) She has a cute little outtie, that might turn innie with time....we'll see!
Rod and I were standing over her talking to her and she opened her eyes wide at us. I know she knows we are here. The doctor has been insisting I go home tonight (i slept great last night, and just woke up from a 3 hour nap) so I get some "good sleep" and that I take a spa day tomorrow. I looked at him and said "No way. I'm not leaving her!" His response everytime is 'don't you trust me? don't you trust me?' Obviously I completely trust the doctors, I just promised her I would be here and I know she knows we're here, so I this momma ain't leavin' :)
August 2, Post-Op Day 1
We made it through the night! It is all little victories that we will be celebrating to the big celebration of bringing her home. Viv's body is reacting different than other little bodies. Her blood vessels are to relaxed--a sign that her vascular system isn't quite up to working on their own. Her adreinal glands aren't letting off any steroids, so she is having them put into her body to hopefully jump start the reaction. She is also going to have some new blood pumped into her which will hopefully livin' up her color and perhaps get her body the kick-start it needs to get a move on.
I prayed last night as I went to sleep that I would wake up when she needed me. I woke up this morning at 5, and went over to talk to her. It was perfect timing, her little eyeballs were opening up. The night-nurse told me that was the first time that happened since she had returned from surgery. In my heart I knew that was an answer to my prayer--even if she wasn't awake, if she could focus she saw me. I promised her before she went back I would be here when she woke up. Opening your eyes still groggy counts too.
I honestly don't know how I am feeling. I still have a deep peace that it's all good--it is because God's hand is evidently in all of this. Today is the 5 year anniversary of my grandpa's entrance into heaven. I have been telling him all day to love on her, to keep rooting for her and I know he is.
There is a little guy down the hall who has been screaming all morning...although the doctors keep trying to get him to be quiet, I can't help but think about how happy I will be when I hear her scream again. It's so weird in here without hearing her little 'coos' and cat or goat noises. I know its only a matter of days before we hear that again but it kinda breaks your heart...I just miss it.
I find myself singing "You are My Sunshine" to Viv so often. It's one of my favorites, perhaps because it was sung to me so often, but as I sang it to her this morning, the words really stamped my heart. Vivi is my sunshine--she has made my heart so happy. Even these days of being in the hospital, this morning with not so perfect report, these "skies seem gray" scenarios, just being with her makes me happy. The love I have for her is something that she won't understand, can't understnad until she is a mom herself and even then I'm not sure. She's my girl, my sunshine.
We need prayers that her body catches up and decides to work without the meds so we can start removing lines. I will give another update tonight as we continue to fight through this day!
I prayed last night as I went to sleep that I would wake up when she needed me. I woke up this morning at 5, and went over to talk to her. It was perfect timing, her little eyeballs were opening up. The night-nurse told me that was the first time that happened since she had returned from surgery. In my heart I knew that was an answer to my prayer--even if she wasn't awake, if she could focus she saw me. I promised her before she went back I would be here when she woke up. Opening your eyes still groggy counts too.
I honestly don't know how I am feeling. I still have a deep peace that it's all good--it is because God's hand is evidently in all of this. Today is the 5 year anniversary of my grandpa's entrance into heaven. I have been telling him all day to love on her, to keep rooting for her and I know he is.
There is a little guy down the hall who has been screaming all morning...although the doctors keep trying to get him to be quiet, I can't help but think about how happy I will be when I hear her scream again. It's so weird in here without hearing her little 'coos' and cat or goat noises. I know its only a matter of days before we hear that again but it kinda breaks your heart...I just miss it.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away"
I find myself singing "You are My Sunshine" to Viv so often. It's one of my favorites, perhaps because it was sung to me so often, but as I sang it to her this morning, the words really stamped my heart. Vivi is my sunshine--she has made my heart so happy. Even these days of being in the hospital, this morning with not so perfect report, these "skies seem gray" scenarios, just being with her makes me happy. The love I have for her is something that she won't understand, can't understnad until she is a mom herself and even then I'm not sure. She's my girl, my sunshine.
We need prayers that her body catches up and decides to work without the meds so we can start removing lines. I will give another update tonight as we continue to fight through this day!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Family Photos, 7/31
The ladies of 1heart2souls surprised us yesterday with a gift we want to share with you. If you get a minute, check out these pics! :)
http://www.loft3pd.com/blog/?p=8741
http://www.loft3pd.com/blog/?p=8741
August 1, Post Surgery
Before I get started, I want everyone who reads this to know that I attached pictures of Viv to this post surgery. It may be hard for some people to see her with all her tubes. In my eyes, she looks more beautiful! The pictures showcases her strength and the hope we have in her to fight through this. I can't stop telling Viv how proud I am of her. :)
At 10:34 this morning we were told that the first incisions had been made on Vivian. I was still in shock after wheeling my baby down from the room I had been holding her in just hours before to hand her off to the doctors. No one can explain to you the love you have for your child until you are living it. My heart has literally been outside of my chest since we welcomed Vivian into this world last week, and it will be this way now until FOR-EV-ER. Giving her away to the doctors was a moment I will never forget--and it is one we will experience a few more times with her. My mom always says 'you don't get the ticket until you arrive to the station' and I lived that today. Although tears poured down my face and I could barely get out the words, "I love you" a peace fell over me and took over my body and I felt no fear. I felt this same way the day we found out about Vivi's heart--I knew that peace was God speaking to me securing me to the truth, "it is all going to be ok" because He is here. Sitting in the waiting room praying with Rod, I knew with every being in my body my baby was ok. She is a fighter, and has such a strong soul that I knew she was going to come out of this surgery as a Champ. An hour and a half went by and the surgeon's assistant walked in. "Vivian is a Rock Star back there. She is doing so great, we couldn't ask for better" Exhaling for the first time, I sat on Rod's knee and snuggled in close--I knew it! I knew she could do it. I knew she has the strength to do so well. Another couple hours and the nurse came in--the surgery was finished. Viv did awesome, but the hardest part was yet to come. She had to ease off the heart and lung bypass machine to "living" on her own. Another hour went by and when the nurse opened the door smiling, I knew we were finished. She did it--she did all of it perfectly. I smiled a smile I never have smiled before. She did it. The anticipation was over. My insides were singing praise to God "My soul proclaims the greatness of your love oh Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!" The words of Mary reverberated inside--our hearts had been linked all day and the joy I was feeling she was feeling with me.
Like I have mentioned many times, Mary has been so close to me, especially Our Lady of Sorrows. This morning I woke up curled up on the Lazboy Vivi sleeping soundly in my arms and they had changed the time we were going to send her back. I was thankful, but anxious at the same time. I knew what was coming, and I knew I couldn't stop it. I knew Viv knew too....poor thing cried a cry I have not heard throughout the night and there was no consoling her. It was as if her little soul knew what was on the agenda for today. I kept thinking about Mary--how she had to wait and watch Jesus suffer. As a mom, as much as I wanted to take her place and take away all the pain she would be going through, I couldn't. She had to do it. I felt Mary standing with me, hugging me, crying with me because she felt the same with Jesus dying for all humanity. Obviously I don't know what God's plan is for Viv. I do know that although it seems that there wasn't "the miracle" of her heart being healed, I know there are miracles that are happening that I see, but the ones I love the most are the ones I don't see and I know they are happening.
Two very interesting things happened today that were little smooches from God saying he is here! Tomorrow is the anniversary of my grandpa's death. He had a great devotion to St. Therese of Liseux. He called her "his girlfriend" and rightfully so after she would grow roses in his backyard in the winter :) I told him after he died that he would have to find me a husband. Rod is not only similar to my grandpa, but he is also related on his mom's side to St. Therese. Coincidence? I think not at all! Hand picked, more likely ;) My mom received a phone call from my dad today while we were waiting for Vivi to complete her surgery. He has just received a card from a family friend that offered masses for Vivian from St. Therese of the Little Flower Society. What an affirmation that grandpa is rootin' for Viv, but that he is also roping St. Therese in as well.
A few weeks ago I had a dream that Rod and I were driving in a van with our 5 daughters. For some reason there were 2 of the girls that stood out more--one was a sandy blonde hair girl and the other was a dark haired firecracker. The blondie was Vivian and the dark haired one was named Audrey, When Vivi was born and had all the dark hair she has, I thought about this dream and thought maybe Audrey was Vivi's guardian angel, and I got the physical appearance messed up in my dream. Today a family friend's sister who works at Children's stopped by to visit us while we were waiting. She brought with her a very special gift, a rosary that was her mom's. Recently, her mom passed away and this rosary was the rosary she was using while she prayed as she died. Touched by this selfless gesture, I asked her what her mom's name was so I could always tell Vivi about her special angel in heaven that she would have close to her with this rosary. Much to my surprise, the answer was Audrey.
We are so blessed by all the prayers that have been storming heaven in our behalf. Viv definitely jumped a HUGE hurtle today by getting through the surgery. The next 48 hours are crucial in the recovery process so don't give up the prayer intensity yet :) My prayer is that the doctors are wise as they assess each situation, that the nurses are compassionate and well trained, the Vivi continues to fight hard, and that her liver redirects itself and is a non-issue. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the prayers and all the love. I am floating on them.
August 1, Surgery Prayer
Lord God, I praise you for the gift of this new day. Lord, I praise you for how you have fearfully and wonderfully knit Vivian together inside me. Thank you for the priveledge of being able to carry her close to my heart for 9 months. Thank you for the week we have had to hold her close to us, to watch her grow and to love her every moment. Today Lord Jesus, you know is a big day for our Vivi. I know your every plan is perfect, and that this is a part of a bigger plan. Thank you for asking us to be Viv's parents. Thank you for including us in this awesome plan for her life, and for the world.
Lord, I ask you to be in the OR with the surgeons,doctors, nurses and especially Viv. Work through the surgeon's hands. Keep his mind sharp, and his work precise and steady. Be with the other doctors and nurses. Allow them to know their role, and to be on their A-game. Allow the whole medical team to work united as one to help Viv. And of course Lord, be with Vivi. Send her angel to keep her calm and safe. Keep her heart strong, and agreeable to working with the equipment keeping her body working. Allow her to feel all the prayers and love that are surrounding her. Allow her to know she is so loved, she is strong, she is brave and that her life has such a wonderful message and purpose.
Lord, give strength to Rod and I to handle this day gracefully. To surrender our hearts and lives to you fully. We trust in you. We believe in you. We hope in you. Our faith is completely in you. Lord I thank you in advance for the success of this surgery. I thank you for a safe and full recovery. I thank you for being with us in the midst of this heartache. You are holy, wonderful, awesome God and I love you, praise you and thank you.
Amen.
Lord, I ask you to be in the OR with the surgeons,doctors, nurses and especially Viv. Work through the surgeon's hands. Keep his mind sharp, and his work precise and steady. Be with the other doctors and nurses. Allow them to know their role, and to be on their A-game. Allow the whole medical team to work united as one to help Viv. And of course Lord, be with Vivi. Send her angel to keep her calm and safe. Keep her heart strong, and agreeable to working with the equipment keeping her body working. Allow her to feel all the prayers and love that are surrounding her. Allow her to know she is so loved, she is strong, she is brave and that her life has such a wonderful message and purpose.
Lord, give strength to Rod and I to handle this day gracefully. To surrender our hearts and lives to you fully. We trust in you. We believe in you. We hope in you. Our faith is completely in you. Lord I thank you in advance for the success of this surgery. I thank you for a safe and full recovery. I thank you for being with us in the midst of this heartache. You are holy, wonderful, awesome God and I love you, praise you and thank you.
Amen.
Today is the Day
Good Morning! There are so mnay things I want to write, and the time is coming for that. Vivi is scheduled for surgery today, August 1 at 11 am. Please start the prayers, and keep them coming! We are just beginning the journey.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)