Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving 2013

The Human Heart is the strongest muscle in the body.  It keeps our bodies living, and houses our soul.  I find it ironic that it is perhaps the easiest muscle to "break", and perhaps the hardest to heal.  But these tears and healings have the ability to make it even stronger.

This post it officially my last post to this blog.  I know I haven't written in quite some time, but I just couldn't.  Not because there weren't things moving in my soul, but because I didn't have words, and talking about Vivi's little sister, Iris, on her blog wasn't ok.  This space is sacred to me, and is devoted to her.  But in the past few weeks, my heart has experienced healing I didn't expect, and I've finally felt ready to finish here what I have started.

November 7, 2013, my world changed...and the hole left in my heart that I thought was healed, truly filled with a new love I couldn't have expected. November 7, Iris Gianna, Vivian's little sister was welcomed into this world.  She came in a hot hurry--I woke up at 7, we left for the hospital shortly after, and she was here at 11 am.



Many emotions surrounded these moments...had been hovering around the entire pregnancy.  A client helped me coin my emotions "optimistic hesitation".  How can I not be excited for a baby?  But, how could I not think about loosing my baby? Thank God I was puking and not able to relax before I received the epidural, because these thoughts weren't a part of me in the Labor and Delivery room, until the moment for her to come was upon us.  My doctor walks in, by himself, checks me, and says, "she's right there!  Ready?" Was I ready? But more importantly, I was wondering where everyone was--the nurses, the doctors--Vivi came into this world with quite the audience. And here we were, ready to bring this new life into the world without the "scene".  After about 5 minutes, and 3 pushes, Iris was here. 

Something happened as she was laid on my chest--there was no hurry to whisk her away, there was no 'exhale' when she started breathing, there was NO RUSH...I suddenly had no fear, no reservations to loving my new baby girl.  In those sacred first moments with Iris on my chest and Rod at my side, I felt Vivi so strongly present with us.  There had been this emptiness within me--not because Vivi was gone.  I miss her, I wish she was here, but the emptiness was more because I didn't get to live with her in the life I imagined. But here, laying on my chest was her twin (kinda creepy!)...and my new chance to love in a way that I would never be able to without loving Vivian.  My lost sense of sincerity and joy was found again in this strange piece that was needed back in my heart.  This piece (and peace) is not a replacement, not a 'band-aid', but necessary for my moving on and true healing as a mom, a wife, and a friend.

 


Today, on this beautiful holiday set aside for us to give thanks, I am so thankful--I am blessed.  I am blessed with an amazing husband.  I am blessed with two beautiful daughters.  I am blessed with an amazing grace of faith.  I am blessed with an awesome family. I am blessed with beautiful, true-blue, one of a kind, blessed-if-you-find-one-EVER friends. (I have a couple!) But most importantly today, I am thankful and feel so blessed for healing. For me, the unexpected gifts, are the most meaningful.

Thank you for being a part of our journey--of Vivian's story.  As I have said many times since she has died, it is just the beginning.  We are  blessed to be beginning Vivian's Victory--our own non-profit to help families who are experiencing some (and more) of what we experienced.  Please follow us on Facebook for updates as we start this journey--we absolutely want you as part of it! The start of VV is a story within itself, one that will be shared on its blog, as soon as we get it up and running...hopefully in January!

May your today be especially full of love and blessings, and again thank you for being with us along this journey :)

3 comments:

  1. I have prayed that you would have a healthy pregnancy. I am glad to hear all is well.

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  2. WHAT DID THE FIRST CHRISTIANS BELIEVE?

    THE CHURCH OF CHRIST HAD ITS BEGINNING ON THE DAY OF PENTECOST 33 A.D.. WHAT BELIEFS AND ACTIONS DID THE THREE THOUSAND CONVERTS TO CHRIST HAVE IN COMMON? DID GOD APPROVE OF EVOLVING BELIEFS, DIFFERENT REQUIREMENTS FOR SALVATION? IF THAT WERE TRUE, THEN WOULD IT NOT BE FOUND IN THE NEW TESTAMENT SCRIPTURES?

    Acts 2:41 So then, those who received his word were baptized; and there were added about three thousand souls. Acts 2:47....And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.

    All three thousand believed the apostle Peter's message and were baptized in water. Then they were added to the Lord's church by the Lord Himself. The Lord did not add the unsaved to His church. They had to believe and be baptized in water prior to being added to the body of Christ.

    1. Acts 2:22 Men of Israel, listen to these words: Jesus the Nazarene, a man attested to you by God with miracles and wonders and signs which God performed through Him in your midst, just as you yourselves know---

    All three thousand believed Jesus was a miracle worker.

    2. Acts 2:31-32 he looked ahead and spoke of the resurrection of the Christ, that He was neither abandoned to Hades, nor did His flesh suffer decay. 32 This Jesus God raised up again, to which we are all witnesses.

    All three thousand believed in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

    3. Acts 2:36 Therefore let all the house of Israel know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Christ---this Jesus whom you crucified."

    All three thousand believed that Jesus was Lord and Christ.

    4. Acts 2:38 Peter said to them, "Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

    All three thousand repented in order to have sins forgiven. (repentance meant that they made the commitment to turn from their unbelief and sinful lifestyle and turn toward God).

    All three thousand were baptized in water in order to have their sins forgiven.

    All three thousand received the indwelling gift of the Holy Spirit after they believed, repented, and were baptized in water.

    5. Acts 2:40 And with many other words he solemnly testified and kept on exhorting them, "Be saved from this perverse generation!"

    All three thousand were saved after they believed Peter's message: They believed, repented, confessed, and were baptized in water. (Mark 16:16, John 3:16, Acts 3:19, Acts 2:38, Romans 10:9-10, Acts 8:35-38) THEN THEY WERE ADDED TO THE LORD'S CHURCH! (Acts 2:47)

    WHAT THINGS DID PETER NOT PREACH AND WHAT THINGS DID THE THREE THOUSAND NOT BELIEVE.

    1.Peter did not preach that men were saved by grace alone.

    2.Peter did not preach that men were saved by faith only

    3.Peter did not preach that God had selected a few to be saved and that all others would go to hell.

    4. Peter did not preach that water baptism was not essential to salvation.

    5. Peter did not preach that Jesus was just one of many Saviors.

    6. Peter did not preach that once you were saved, that you could continue in a sinful lifestyle and still be saved.

    7. Peter did not preach that God did not have the power to give us an inerrant translation of the Scriptures.

    8. Peter did not preach that God would provide hundreds or thousands of different Christian denominations, and that they would teach different ways of being saved.

    9. Peter did NOT preach that you had to speak in tongues as evidence that you were saved.

    AS BELIEVERS IN CHRIST, MEN SHOULD USE THE BIBLE AS THEIR GUIDE FOR SALVATION. Looking to man-made creed books, Bible commentaries, denominational statements of faith, and church catechisms, is looking in all the wrong places for the absolute truth!

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