Tuesday, October 2, 2012

October 2

Rod has a "Daybrightener" inspired by the movie Courageous that lives in our bathroom.  He is so good about flipping to the correct date, and I know that reading these inspirations is a way he begins his day.  This morning, October 2 reads, "First God gives us our children, and then with love and thanks, we give them back to Him".  Of course these words strike a cord with my heart. 

Vivian was and still is a great gift, the greatest gift God has ever given to me.  It was love that created her, love that received her into this world, love that sustained her, love that escourted her out of this world, and the Greatest Love of all that received her into Heaven.  All along that journey, I was priviledged to be there as she took each step. 

As hard as it is to let go and give God my child, I had to everyday.  I know as I would daily go through my mental imaging of placing Vivi at the foot of Christ's cross that I was making Him so happy.  That through giving her back to Him, I was sharing with Him my love.

I will never forget as Vivian was taking her final breaths, there were many moments Rod and I both murmured "thank you Jesus".  Thank you Jesus for this gift.  Thank you Jesus for letting her go so peacefully.  Thank you Jesus for opening our hearts to love this precious gift.  Thank you Jesus for choosing us to be parents of a saint.  Thank you Jesus for all the doctors and nurses.  Thank you Jesus for our supportive families.  Thank you Jesus for in each step being so present.  Thank you Jesus for Vivian. 

Even today as the hardest day for me since Vivi died, I find myself thanking Him.  Although my heart hurts because it is empty, I thank Him.  He knows all...there is great Glory being shared and seen because of Vivian's precious life.  Even though it hurts and it is so hard, thank you Jesus for sharing with me such an amazing gift and this great love.


  1. Thank you for sharing Vivi with all the cyber world. Your story has been such an inspiration. I pray that you continue to find comfort and are lifted up knowing that your sweet baby girl is in Jesus' arms. Love and hugs your way.

  2. sweet maria. my heart aches for you. these days of "back to reality" i am certain are very difficult. they were the most difficult for me. i would have rather have stayed in the hospital than not be with my girls. but God is so good and He will present himself and vivi to you daily. He will plug in the peices of the puzzle to the great mystery of vivi's short life here on earth and her great love for Christ and His mission for her. And your heart will feel consolation and joy.. As always you are in my prayers.