Oh today. Oh today I ventured into Clifton to take Gracie to the Zoo. Seems like a harmless adventure. At least thats what I thought, until I started driving down streets that just weeks ago took me to the hospital to be with Vivi. Sitting at a red light at the intersection of Jefferson and Vine, Grace simply says from the back seat, "Look, that's the crane you could see from your room at the hospital". I already was working down a lump in my throat before this was said. After the words were out, my tears all so quickly followed. Sitting at this red light at the intersection of Jefferson and Vine, I couldn't keep in what was wanting to be out being in that area. I wanted to go home...not to the apartment I live in, but to the hospital room that I knew when I walked in I would see Viv. Where I would wait until Rod came home and the three of us will be together.
My all too wise 9 year old sister consolingly offered at to my tears, "I bet you miss your friends. And Vivi. It was your home". How did she know that? How was she able to verbalize my tears? I will never know, but all I said was "Yep Gracie, you're absolutely right".
The rest of today, my heart has been heavy...but so empty. It's a weird phenomon I am living.
Rod and I went to create a plaque for Viv's grave today. It felt like the last step to "close" this chapter. Not that we will ever stop loving her, talking about her, visiting her...but that there aren't any more "things" we have to do. It was a longer trip than I expected...never knew it would be so hard. How do you summarize all that you want to say, do and share on a 24X12 in block? For Rod, it wasn't so difficult. He just looked at me as I am thinking of all these tag lines, and says , "Victorious. That sums it up." Yes, I would have to agree, that sums Vivi up. Perhaps the vicotry isn't what we expected, but in a way better than we expected. She showed the love, courage, strength and faith of a champion in her short 59 days. And the best part is, her victories have only begun...eternity is a concept we humanly can't grasp, but she already has a hold of.