October 22

What I am learning about grieving:

• it has all different faces, comes at all different times
• it's blindsighting...you never know when it's going to hit or what situation will set it off
• it's ok to cry. Where ever, when ever.
• sometimes the most loving choice is to keep distance
• it is never all about me--I am allowed to cry, I am allowed to be empty, but I am never allowed to not be concerned about others
• there is an open wound in my heart that will scar over.  But that takes time.  If you break your arm playing soccer, it gets a cast.  If the cast is taken off too soon and you go back to play it won't heal like it should.  More problems come from not taking off a few more games to get back to "better".  Even if you sit out the whole season, the next you will be strong and ready to play because you are healed.  As much as I hate processes,  I'm ready to go through it if it means I can jump back in the game with both feet after.

 

Happy is the heart that still feels pain
Darkness drains and light will come again
Swing open up your chest and let it in
Just let the love, love, love begin

~Ingrid Michaelson, 'Everybody'