Saturday, March 10, 2012

Reflection

"Let me Recklessly Love You, even if I bleed", Matt Hammitt, 'All of Me'
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARIe3PUgu84&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Dear Viv,

It's been 2 days since we were told about HLHS and your little heart.  Initially, my heart was broken.  How could your heart be broken?  Why is your heart to little?  But as they say, time heals things.  The grace God has given me is, you are not broken.  You are perfect. You are a masterpiece--perfectly woven together to bless the world and serve our God. You are already beginning the mission God has created you for.  You already are a miracle, you are my miracle.  God has opened my heart to love you, a love that is indescribable.  You have all of me, all of my heart.  Every breath I take, I share with you.  This time we share, I will never regret, and there is a side of me that never wants it to end. 

Kelly sent me the link for this song.  It is one I have loved for a long time but haven't really understood.  But I now see it in a different light--Matt's son has HLHS too--the song is about the feelings he and his wife have had through their journey with their son Bowen.  His heart is my heart for you!  I am not enough, I can't fix you, but I can love you.  I can love you like I have never loved before.  A love that is fearless and strong and full of faith.  RECKLESS love.  There are no boundaries to the love I have for you, or the love I will always strive to give you.

I keep thinking about Mary accompanying Christ to the Cross--she couldn't save Him, and she watched Him be wrongly accused and abused-- He said 'yes' to God's will for you, for me, for all of us.  And Mary, said 'yes' to God's will for her to accompany Him to the end.  Baby girl, I am saying 'yes' to the will God is honoring me with, as you are saying 'yes' to the will He is blessing you with.  I, like Mary, will never leave your side, I will never stop praying for you, I will never stop loving you and I will ALWAYS be willing to give you all of me.

I love you,
Mom

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