We have been going a lot of 'sit around and wait' today. Viv was scheduled to go to the cath lab at 9. Then she was second case. Then it was 'oh, we'll come get her around 2 or 3' which in reality meant the doctors came up at 6.
While I sat around and waited today, I received some beautiful emails which filled me with such hope, and reaffirmed that many miracles are happening as we await with great joy, hope and peace the BIG miracle. As I reflect on my day, I have learned a great lesson. Hope makes things better. It is so exhausting walking through my days worrying about the 'what coulds' and 'what ifs' of a future that isn't here. Hope makes life easier, more exciting...more liveable. I notice a difference for Viv when Mommy is in a better space. She is calmer and happier; isn't that the most important? I never read what I write. I type away, when I feel finish, I hit the 'publish' button and thats that. I had an opportunity to reread a few of my posts yesterday and everything from March 8 and beyond came rushing back. The emotions, the choices, the 'barrel through it' with faith attitude we started this journey with, and I thought I need to get back in that groove of what St. Paul tells us--to "boast in the HOPE of the Glory of God" because, oh boy, its coming in a BIG way!
"I am so glad that Rod has had the inspiration to change their prayer, of asking God for healing for Vivian and then accepting God's will, to asking God for a miracle and allowing Vivian to live. I know that God asks us to pray for miracles! He always wants us to ask for the 'impossible', we have to pray with confidence that He will hear our prayer! I offered up Mass this morning for Vivian and I truly felt the Holy Spirit was saying pray for the miracle. God's will is the miracle! The physicians, I know are constantly given hope in seeing/knowing how much little Vivian is loved. Also, in the past they have seen love (even if they don't admit it sometimes) heal even the gravest of circumstances."
This is from an email that was forwarded to me from my mom. Coming from a very prayerful woman, I know that this is a beautiful testament of the glory to come.
I also received a forwarded email from another Holy Family whose 9 year old son had a dream that Vivian was 25 years old and a nun. After reading that email through teary eyes, I get another from my sister to say her friend had a dream she met Jesus and He told her Vivi was going to be ok. As a dreamer myself, I believe in the power of a dream. God has used dreams since the beginning of time to share His plan with His people. I also believe God speaks in a special way to children. Both of these I know are prophetic.
Once Vivi got to the cath lab, she was done in record time. The pressures in her heart looked good, real good, and her leaky valve is leaking less than before. Let the miracle begin!