Tuesday, September 4, 2012

September 4, Part 2

Wow has today been a long one.  I feel equally exhausted as the day we found out about Vivian's heart.  Emotions are a powerful thing. I found myself asking God today to increase my faith...to truly believe that His will is perfect because right now it doesn't feel so much like it.  Again I feel like I am holding my breath for tomorrow.  The procedure will be at 9 (in the hospital that means between 8:30 and 10:30) and we will immediately know the results.  Once again, immediately means 2-5 hours after Vivian goes back.  Things become very relative living in the hospital.  I never thought in a bizillion years that I would be praying for heart failure, but that is our best case scenario.  So please, please pray that heart failure is what we are facing here.  That would mean we are continuing on the road we are currently on.

My mom came to be with me today and shared with me something amazing: tomorrow is Mother Teresa's feast day.  How bizarre is that?  Ok, we all know at this point in the story that nothing happens on accident.  Mother Teresa has been praying for Vivi since March 8, we have called her Viv's Godmother, and I know she will be with our Girl in a special way tomorrow.  I believe tomorrow there will be a miracle, whatever the result of the test is, and peace will be running through our family.

I received an email with this quote from St. Sebastian Valfre , "When it is all over you will not regret having suffered; rather you will regret having suffered so little, and suffered that little so badly." I hate what I am going through.  I hate that I feel like my heart is being stabbed everytime something happens with Viv.  My whole life I have run from suffering and this cross I can't run from--not now, not ever regardless of the outcome.  I pray that although my heart hurts daily-- sometimes for moments, sometimes it doesn't stop--that I can offer this suffering to Christ as a gift for His suffering for me.


  1. Maria,
    My family and I are praying so hard for you, your sweet Vivi, your husband, your parents...all of you. You truly are an inspiration and your faith is admirable. We are lifting Vivian up in prayer.
    The Fellinger Family

  2. Sweet Maria. I am praying for Vivian. I am begging Our Lady to give her life, relieve her of any pain and to get through all of this. For a long time, I have been saying a hail mary every time I see the #23 (reminds me of the girls' birthday) and I see it ALL THE TIME NOW!!!!!!!! every time i see it now, it reminds me to pray for Vivian. she is on my heart and mind all day long. All my love to you and Rod. God bless! <3 luci

  3. Dear Maria, Rod and baby Vivian.....

    The Grimms are praying for you and are confident that this will all be over soon. Baby Vivian has been a fighter since before she was born and she is not going to start now! Maria, when you say that she looks at you with sad eyes, she is sad to see her mommy worrying. She wishes that she could tell you that everything is going to be fine and that you shouldn't worry.

    Please call me if you need me. I mean that. I work at home and can drop everything and be there in a matter of minutes.
    265 6329


    Holly G.

  4. May God give you, Rod and sweet baby Viv peace. My pleading prayers are with you.

  5. My students and I are praying for Baby Viv, you and Rod, and all who encounter her each day...from the person who cleans her room to the lead doc on her case! Our prayers are offered for you daily!