I am ending this day with greater hope than I began with. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think about the fork in the road that my family could be facing this week. But these are the moments I have, we have as a family. Through my struggling moments today, Christ gave me a light that I have to hold very close to my heart. While Christ was in the desert for 40 days, Satan kept tempting Him to fall and give in to the pain He knew was to come. I felt like Christ reminded me that I am in the desert. Satan knows through this experience he hasn't been able to come between Rod adn I, he hasn't been able to get Vivi, and up to this point, he hasn't been able to get me. Why would he not use this fork to get me? This thought brings my heart so much hope. When I break it down, all emotions aside, we really are in a win win situation. The doctors figure out a solution to Viv's unique anatomy and she is here with us. The doctors don't figure out a solution to Viv's unique anatomy, and she is with Jesus and our family has a saint in heaven. Although both options have definite joys and heart- breaks, Christ is with us in both. God promised me that all of this was going to happen for His Glory, perhaps the outcome is not what my human mind can understand. This doesn't mean that my emotions, good and bad aren't valid, real, or I should be ashamed for having them. Laughter comes and goes, tears come and go, our moments together may come and go. The one thing that will always remain is my love for my baby and the love Christ has for me.
Viv is at full feeds. This is good because she is taking them. Her belly is swelling up again and the jury is out on her comfort level. She has been puking quite a bit today, but it is mucusy, so none of the doctors are concerned about that. We have had a few periods of her being wide awake today--that is a huge blessing...I want those moments to be the ones imprinted on my heart forever. This week is a very important week for our family. We are so comforted knowing that the prayers are coming in on overdrive this week. We believe Christ can at any moment provide us with "the Miracle"--but we can't overlook all the miracles that have happened along the way.