Sunday, August 12, 2012

August 12

This begins the longest 24 hours of my entire life.  I don't know what God is trying to teach me, but right now if I could, I would drop out.  Vivi began today as the champ she has been.  We extubated her with great success.  She loved breathing on her own.  She was wide awake, loving sucking on Mr. Lambie again.  For me, it was so awesome to see her sweet face again without being all taped up.  She was looking at me with her angel eyes, and I was counting down the hours until I would be able to hold her.



Around 4pm, her heart rate began to creep back up.  Unable to get it to calm down after a couple hours, the doctors decided to re-intubate her.  She didn't have a fever for 24 hours, her numbers were all right were they should be...the only thing that could be the culprite was her leaky heart valve.  An echo and EKG were done, both pointing to the fact that her little heart is needing to work too hard for it to catch up with itself. 

After briefly speaking with the doctor, we have no definites, but no turn seems to be very optimistic.  If it is in fact her valve, the procedure to reopen her chest and fix the valve is very risky.  we will also be speaking with the transplant team...but that has from the beginning been bottom of the totem pole...very last/worst case scenario.

I don't know what to think... Rod and I went straight to the chapel and all I can do is raise my arms up to Christ and beg that He hear me.  Right now, this moment is the moment we need the miracle.  I believe that my hope is in Christ--it is not shaken by draught or storm and that if He wills it, HE has the power to heal her.  God told me at the beginning of this journey that this was all happening for His greater glory.  What is that?  I don't know.  Like I said, I would run in the other direction if I could.  I would love to escape this pain, the looks of grief from the doctors faces and the idle chatter from the nurses.  I would scoop up my baby in my arms and run to the life I had planned on living.  But that is not what God is asking from me..or Rod..or Viv.  All I can ask at this moment is to pray.  Pray unceasingly, like you have never prayed before.  Pray that the doctors have the Wisdom of Solomon, that Viv has the strength of an army of angels, and that Rod and I are given the grace to place all our trust and hope in the Lord through these next days.

17 comments:

  1. We will be praying, and I will ask all those around my to do so. May you feel His arms tightly wrapped around all of you.

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  2. I am praying with all my might for Viv and her family. Thank you for sharing photos, gives me a beautiful visual of Viv to pray over. May God give you all strength!

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  3. Maria,
    Suffering is so much deeper when it is for our children. I am offering my rosary for Vivian!
    Much love to you friend~
    Anna

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  4. I dont know you but your story is breaking my heart. I have offered the most sincere prayer i could for you and a deep hope for a miraculous outcome. God bless you and keep you strong.

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  5. Maria,
    Praying for all of your requests.

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  6. Count on prayers from the Browns. All 6 kids are sick. We will offer our sufferings and prayers for all of you. God never stops giving us opportunities to grow in trust in Him. Your faith is such a beautiful witness. God Bless you all!

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  7. I love all of you and am praying with all my heart...suffering is so mysterious we lean on the One who suffered for us , He leads us and walks with us, He is Emmanuel, God with us.. all things work to the good for those who believe and are called according to His purposes..Rom 8:28.. all things Re.. all things..I love you , I love you , I love you!! Kiss our sweet Vivi for me and tell her Grammie loves her!

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  8. Roxye and Joe CieplyAugust 13, 2012 at 6:53 AM

    Please know that we are praying for your precious Vivian, especially today, that our Lord may grant to her whatever she needs to be healed according to His Perfect Will! We are asking especially that our Blessed John Paul II might intercede for her recovery!

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  9. Praying for all of you that God may lift up Vivian and heal her and that you can understand God's call and take it with you on your life's journey.

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  10. Maria- I'm praying for you and your family especially your sweet little Viv. I'm so sorry to hear she is sick. I heard you delivered, but nothing after that. Your faith has always been amazingly strong, something that as I am getting older I respect and value so much more. He will get your family thru this. Stay strong Maria, all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. -Jen

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  11. Continuing to pray for you and little Vivi. God has made you and Vivi stronger than you can ever image.

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  12. I know what your going through. Ive been there. Ive been praying forall of you as soon as I heard. about. baby Vivan. You have an Angel watching over Vivan. He is my first son. All my kids came early,I have spent over a year in N I C Us. Please call me.my #is on my facebook infor.My name is Kerry Maddux

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  13. Maria, I will be praying the rosary tonight for Vivian, and praying the God sends her healing.

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  14. Maria - our prayers will continue. I am gathering more prayer warriors. theresa gray

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  15. Everyone thank you so much for your prayers and love. There are no words to share with you what comfort there is in all your support. Love, Maria

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  16. Praying for you and your precious joy.

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