Tuesday, August 21, 2012

August 21

I have started using a book called Meditations for Mothers to begin my day.  Let me tell you, the past two days I have not been disappointed.  It has been meant for me!  Today the Gospel was taken from John, one all of you I am sure at one point have read or heard; the Wedding  Feast of Cana. 

I have read this passage many times, I have been to Cana, but today, a line hit me that has never hit me like it has.  When Mary says to the servants, "do whatever He tells you" she is revealing that she has complete faith in her Son as the Son of God.  That she believes, "what the Lord has revealed to you will be fulfilled".

I stopped for quite some time after I read that this morning and realized I must believe in Viv.  As the mom, I have the God-given power to empower, to encourage and to believe in the goodness and strength God has given to Vivian. 

We are working towards extubation round 3.  One of Rod's favorite things to say is, "what is the definition of insanity?  Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results".  I will admit, when the doctors told me the other day that they were hoping to extubate her again, I thought I was going to laugh and at the same time I was kinda pissed.  Haven't we learned anything from the past few weeks?  Viv can't be extubated.  So you are going to take out this tube, freak me out by having her struggle, then shoot another tube down her throat?  Um, not funny, not cool and definitely not sanitary.  I had given up on Viv before she even tried again.  I felt while I was reflecting on the Wedding Feast of Cana, that Christ was inviting me to be more like His mother.  To see the impossible and believe without 1 single doubt that it is infact possible.  Needless to say, the resolution I took from my prayer time this morning was to push aside the doubts I have built up and to place complete faith in God's ability to work through Viv.  Funny enough, the doctors have decided to give her trials increasing the hourly time they are expecting her to breathe on her own for the week.  As i have been saying and learning about my baby, her temperment is the same as her Daddy's.  Slow and staedy wins the race.  She doesn't like to have quick changes done to her routine.  I can respect that...I don't alwasy understand that mentality, but I can definitely love and advocate for it.  So I began pep talks.  "You can do it Vivi!"  "We need to get rid of that tube!  Not only will Mommy be able to get you out of bed easier, but your lungs will benefit too :)!" 

It still is so amazing to me how God meets us where we are when we are there.  My attitude has needed a bit of a pick me up, and today was just it.  I have always said I am best when I am the cheerleader--and this is the most intense and important match of my life.  Go Vivi go--I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!


  1. We are praying for you Maria and your family! The wedding in Cana is one is my favorites, it reminds us of Gods gift of abundance and providence to everyone. You are that for your little one in every word of encouragement, every post, every smile/ touch. You are her abundance and providence, you are the wine at the celebration when wine has run out! You are God's miracle for her today! I can't imagine how tough it is to watch her struggle, I will pray for her healing and your comfort in a time when it is almost impossible to be comforted, that you maybe by some miracle could get a glimpse of Gods comfort and love for you. She is beautiful just like her Momma!- Paige Linnemann

  2. Good morning! Checking your blog has become my morning activity. Trust in Viv! Ben had to do the same thing when being extubated. He had a tempter even with being a morphine and when they sprinted him several times before removing the tube. Unfortunately they drugged him up more to get him through it because he got so mad breathing through that tiny tube, but he did it so they could finally extubate him. It is very painful to watch, but they really are more comfortable over all when they get off that tube. My family is praying for you and your story and pictures is preparing me for going back to surgery next summer.
    Elizabeth McCarthy

  3. Cheering on Vivi for a successful extubation this time around!!! Many prayers going up for you guys. Funny because my husband and I are doing a devotional from our Church and we are reading about the wedding in Cana. Love your faith!! Keep on trucking! Laura