Mommy Love Note

My Dear Vivi,

There are not words that describe what I truly see in you.  You have a strength, a drive, a passion, a love that draws people close to you and the gets your spirit through these moments.  I am learning so much by watching you fight, watching you adapt to your new life with your improved heart.  I will always believe your heart was created perfectly, and that the journey you are on is all a part of that perfect plan.  You are never broken in my eyes, only perfect.

I love to watch you move.  I love how through the movements I learn more about you.  I love when you rub your right ear, I love when you raise your right hand behind your head when you sleep.  I love how you hate when anyone touches your feet and you go into frog reflects.  I love how you crack open your right eye when you hear a new voice enter the room and close it once you scope out who it is.  I love how you want Daddy and I to hold your hand when you are upset.  I love to watch you begin to wake up--you scrunch up your little face. It cracks me up that you get the hiccups as much outside of me as you did inside.  I know it has to be so hard to have your little body be trying to pump up your heart and hiccup all at once. 

You have grown so quick in the past 2 weeks--you look older (and it's not just because you are going through a lot).  I hate that I can't scoop you up into my arms and snuggle with your sweet face.  Hopefully, my 1,000s of kisses a day will get us both through to those moments.  I know when I can finally hold you again, I am not going to put you down, and I am not going to share those moments for a long time.   My heartaches at some moments because I know we will never have these moments of your first days in our life back, but I have to keep reminding myself that these weeks are just a drop in the bucket of days I will be able to hold you. squeeze you and snuggle with you.

Vivian Teresa, you are the light of my soul, the most precious gift of my life.  I can't remember my life before you, and that life was insignificant compared to the life I now have with you. God has blessed me beyond understanding.

I love you forever and ever amen,
Mommy